December 6, 2005

Instead of being out in the woods with my boyfriend...i am stuck at home thinking. which is not good on this particular day.

I know the dates wrong up there...but that date....was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. and it was. but now its the most painful and sorrowful day of my life. The story behind it? I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself?



Broken Hearted.


"Get off the computer!!"
"Hang on! I'm talking to a friend about something!" tears streaming down my face, I yelled at my mom.
"You have five minutes to get off that computer or you're grounded!"

I signed off and stomped up to my room. I crawled into bed and started crying. It had been three months since the love of my life decided he didn't want me anymore. And it had almost been three years since he broke up with me, "unofficially" though. I climbed out of bed and sat down in front of my closet. I pulled out the box named Brad News. All my memories packed into one big box. I stared going through the things in the box sobbing as i remembered the memory with each item.

I'm Clara Anderson, and this is just the beginning of a long and hurtful chapter of my life. And I'm telling it to, two important people in my life, who want to know all about what it's like to have a boyfriend.


It all started about five years ago. I thought that this guy in eigth grade was so amazing. He was nice and funny and there was just something about his walk and his eyes. Brad News was the happiest guy i ever knew. He had this love for the Lord that was so amazing and because he always was so happy it seemed he was always so light on his feet. Of course, he wouldn't notice an ugly sixth grader like me. If he'd notice anyone it'd be my twin sister, Jaylena. However, she was interested in some other guy that had just came to our school that year. I kept my crush to myself for the longest time, but my sister eventually found out and she told everyone else...who eventually told Brad. Talk about embarressing!

The whole thing was kind of a fluke for the first two years. I was a "cool" person in his opinion, when asked by my annoying friends, if he liked me. Jaylena and I got picked up from school after every day for awhile. His mom picked him and his little brother up too. Coincidence? I think not. Jaylena, being my twin and all, loved to pick on me. It got so bad, I'd run to the bathroom, just to hide my blushing face. Secretly though, i enjoyed the attention. Even if it was extremely embarressing. Once as silly as it sounds, I thought he smiled at me on his way out to his mom's vehicle. Of course, not at me, it couldn't have been, could it have?

Eigth grade rolled around and he started waving at me when he left! I thought it was a dream come true. Who cared if he didn't like me? He was waving to me! I didn't think it was possible. Around October or November, a group from school went caving and my friend, Jacey and I, got to go along. We were the only two girls. What an expierence that was. It was the scariest thing i had ever done. I almost fell once but two people caught me, i don't remember who it was though. Brad was of course among the guys that went. That marked a signifacnt change in our relationship. I found out through a friend, that night, that he liked me. You cannot even imagine my happiness but i refused to believe it because i didnt' want it to be a joke. The next day however, i recieved an email from Brad. My heart dropped to my knees and i swear my smile was as big as California. We continued emailing for awhile, and everyonce in a while he'd say hi to me in the hall. Me, being stupid in the guy department, had no clue he liked me, until November 24, 2005. I recieved an email that said that he liked me. I was estatic and so happy. I immediatly called my brother's, then girlfriend, Jen, over to tell her. I couldn't contain my happiness. Exactly twelve days later, on December 6, 2005, Brad asked me, Clara Anderson, to be his girlfriend. I literally screamed when i read what he wrote on IM. I was the happiest girl on the planet that day. Nothing could have squelched my happiness that day.

The next day, I went to school and i was so nervous. As the bus pulled into the school he was getting dropped off. I had no idea what to say so i just smiled at him. For weeks, even months, i barley talked to him. I remember riding over to the Church to practice for a play and go to a retreat for the first time with him. The ride was silent, but that didnt' matter to me. I was just happy to be sitting beside him. I was so shy, it was rediculous, and for nine months i didn't have too much to say. Those nine months, were so happy. It was different than i had expected but it was great. Except for a few things. Once, I was serving with Brad at a banquet and there was a slideshow with a picture of the two of us together. His dad then found out we were going out. Needless to say, he was none to happy. And Brad scared me and emailed me and said he didn't know what was going to happen.




There. A friend said i should write about it. Well i'm writing about it. You'll have to wait for the next part, whenever i get around to it. It's nothing spectactular but it's helping a little.

December 6, 2005 the best-worst day of my life. =[