Being Afraid

So I am EXHAUSTED. I got up at 6:15 this morning, went to the guys tournament game and then went to work until 9. So my feet are killing me and I'm sicker than a dog, haha. Work was CRAZY! For two hours we were busy non stop...it was my second night and i was waitressing tables all by myself and really had no clue what i was doing but it went okay, except till that rush was over, i was almost in tears, and pulling my hair out, and some people that i work with were getting frustrated and kinda yelled at me =[ but it was all good...im still in training which means i don't get to keep my tips which stinks but i think we're soon off of training which will be nice. It's extra money and so far we've only had to work one day a week which is REALLY nice and i hope it stays that way.

But anyways....while i was washing tables, i was thinking (which i do WAY too much of) and I was thinking about how I'm actually petrified to be in another relationship right now. Like, i like being in a relationship but I'm afraid to get too close to him because of what happened before. I dont' want another broken heart. He says he's not gonna break it....but i know thats not true. Guys are guys, and for the most part their all alike when it comes to girls (at least most of them) I'm the kind of girl who falls hard for a guy. I'm not one who can just go out with a guy and then when he breaks up with me...go for another guy without having any time in their to "woe" and cry my eyes out...(whatever anyone wants to say, im not.) But yeah....I just got really scared when i was thinking about it....I have a tendency to think about stuff that scares me so bad, i'll end up in tears or just like EXTREMELY scared...so when i was thinking about getting hurt...again....i just fell into this feeling of extreme sadness....i got out of it but it just i dont' know...scares me....it's kinda hard to explain. I know God will take care of me and He won't give me too much to handle. But sometimes i wonder how far i can make it.

Well, I'm going to bed...I have to get up early tomorrow morning....again....because we're going to my grandparents house and i have to pick Joe up at 7:30 which means I'm going to be getting up super early...ughh...oh well....good night!


And God Bless!!